yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
