forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
