He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
