I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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