no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.