ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

  Fav 8 2004 1334

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

  Fav 71 960 3056

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in

  Fav 9 1194 3534

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

  Fav 26 4228 1194

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

  Fav 19 1091 3978

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways

  Fav 14 1530 5263

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.

  Fav 27 1061 3489

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"

  Fav 1 1285 709

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

  Fav 4 1351 786

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

  Fav 3 1476 862

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

  Fav 3 1168 664

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant

  Fav 4 1289 589

  share tweet
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.

  Fav 0 724 383

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.

  Fav 0 324 86

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.

  Fav 0 13 35

  share tweet
  

Randomize