Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

Fav 21 1378 885
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party

Fav 17 6307 1008
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

Fav 12 1063 4729
share tweet
(856): View more from New Jersey

It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

Fav 9 1745 4806
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(423): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

Fav 14 1409 5192
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.

Fav 5 2758 1014
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

Fav 6 2206 1086
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

Fav 6 630 939
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?

Fav 1 50 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT