Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
