fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?