kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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