You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
