my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
