they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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