She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The Olympian is in my bed
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