and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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