I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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