i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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