MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
