The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I cut my penus on the lid.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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