At least make sure they are 18
Why
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
