So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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