One girl and one boy is just not enough.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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