Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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