walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
