Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
