well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
