Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
