So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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