Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
