I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
