THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
