cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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