so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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