the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
