Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
im on a boat
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