Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
