im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
