You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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