I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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