lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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