Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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