it's great music for shaving your balls
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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