i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize