you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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