It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
