Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
