So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
be right there i have to get my cape
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
