well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
