I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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