Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
