areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
