I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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