What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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