just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
