She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
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Hmm... My area code... Is it sad that I know several people this could apply to?
Sounds like he has a bigger penis than you.
Sooooo sorry you suck that much
*dog hugging another dog meme* don't worry bro, she was a bitch anyway
Wow, you must really suck
If that's the first you come up with sounds like he's much better than you.