Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
