those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
