a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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