It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
tell me about the eggs
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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