just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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