Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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