so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
