My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
