If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
