lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
