just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
