I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there is puke in my bra ... again
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